KSA: Champion of human rights

I’m LembitÖpik and welcome to Cats & Dogs, where we take another look into the animal magic of global politics and try to housetrain the trainable, and return the rest back into the wild where they can do no harm.

Speaking of animals about to be released back into the wild, in recent weeks and months, as you know, Donald Trump has been rather busy and apparently too busy even to ‘milk’his old friends the Saudis. As a result, it seems the Saudi Crown Prince has had to figure out what to do with all that milk he’s had waiting for Donald, before it turns sour.

So one day he picked up the phone and called the Secretary-General of the United Nations: [Lembit impersonating MBS] “Mr Secretary-General, we’ll give you one billion bottles of milk if you just let us join the UN Human Rights Council again.” Rumour has it he was talking to the Secretary-General when he received a message from the Police Chief: [see the message on the screen] “Sir, we arrested the three women’s rights activists who were getting on your nerves.” Faced with so many scandals under the leadership of Mohammad Bin Salmanor MBS – which sounds like cheap DIY furniture but isn’t - Riyadh just couldn’t win quite enough votes to join the council this time round. Even lots of Saudi Petrodollars didn’t help them, which really surprised the world.

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